Category Archives: Humour

Copper Wire!

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. 

Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, a German archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in  der SPIEGEL : "German archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".


One week later, the Dept of Minerals and Energy in Jamaica, reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Central Kingston, in a region North of Manchester, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Winston CL (Cool-Locks) Smyth has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Jamaica had already gone wireless." 


“Yeah-Maan..! Jus mak a man proud-dabee Jamaican!”







 Whilst on vacation in Rome, I noticed a marble column in St. Peter's with a golden telephone on it.  As a young priest passed by, I asked who the telephone was for.  The priest told me it was a direct line to heaven, and if I'd like to call, it would be a thousand dollars.  I was amazed, but declined the offer. 

Throughout Italy, I kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column.  At each, I asked about it and the answer was always the same: 

It was a direct line to heaven and I could call for a thousand dollars. 

Then – I continued my tour and arrived in Israel.  I decided to attend temple services at a local synagogue.  When I walked in the door I noticed the golden telephone. Underneath it there was a sign stating: "DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN: 25 cents." 

"Rabbi," I said, "I have been all over Italy and in all the cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly like this one.  But the price is always a thousand dollars.  Why is it that this one is only 25 cents?" 

The rabbi smiled and said, "You're in Israel now. It's a local call."

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy.

The amount of work is the same. – Carlos Casteneda





Disturbing signs


Now around the world people love to put up signs and warnings but every now and then I see the odd one that really disturbs me, eg.



Now I have a big problem with this informatin as it is posted all around the grounds of my local hospital.

I honestly thought that only these chaps…


..are supposed to deal with operations anywhere on the premises!

Or is really true that the health service are really struggling that much!

Happiness and Pleasure Hmmn!


These are some of the quotes I have heard from friends, ministers and employers over the years that continually come back to me time and time again.

"Work is the meat of life and pleasure is the desert."

"Two people cannot hate each other if they profess to love God."

"The greatest and noblest pleasure one can have, is to discover new truths, the second is to shake off old prejudices."

"Some people seem to derive a lot of pleasure from being shocked at other people's sins"

"People who's main concern is their own happiness seldom find it"

"It's pretty hard to tell, looking at non-believers what brings them happiness.. wealth and poverty have both failed."

"Money can bring some pleasure, but only to those who find pleasure in earning it.."

"It's true money cannot buy happiness…well not at today's prices"